He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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