Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
