I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
