My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
