you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
