You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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