weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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