when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
