Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
