Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
