Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
