I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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