Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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