I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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