when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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