I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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