the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
cat food counts as protein by the way
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
