just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
