Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
