i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just googled if crying burns calories
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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