Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
