Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i think my cat just said my name.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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