I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The beer is more important than you right now.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
