I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
