I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
