i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
