i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
