There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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