Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Randomize
