dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
