If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
