Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
