drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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