I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
