If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
