he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
