do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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