Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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