so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
