Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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