Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
