You're a womanizer and a bitch.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
