Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
