i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
