I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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