In the future we'll all be gay
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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