i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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