A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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