I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
