My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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