I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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