Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
