The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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