It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
