Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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