I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
